Saturday, December 24, 2011

Lonely Among Us

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!! ‘Tis the season to be jolly, rejoice, to be thankful for what you have, and spend time with your family. I get to be with my family the next two days and I can’t wait to see them and spend time with all of them and make some joyful noise. Most of all though Christmas is a season where we try not to shoot the good strangers who are also braving the stores but at the same time being total and complete Morons and Assholes. I’d like to coin a phrase for them.. AssRons. Yesterday while shopping at Wal-Mart I nearly made a stop by the gun section to pick up a cute little handgun so that I could navigate around the store without getting stuck behind people or cut off by a bunch of idiots. Not to mention it again but People don’t bring your fucking kids holiday shopping, I’m not above shooting them in addition to you. Today at Target I nearly again wanted to commit some form of murderous aggression. I was in my car and getting ready to leave parking lot when I got stuck behind a woman in a gigantic silver car who was waiting for a parking spot to open up. The only problem is that the person she was waiting on hadn’t even gotten to her fucking car yet! Now I would be fine if the woman had a Handicapped parking sticker because she wouldn’t be able to walk far but this Bitch from all observations had two good legs and just didn’t want to march her lazy ass from the back of the parking lot. I honked my horn… TWICE and gave the lady a good case of the shakedown!
Let me explain, The shakedown is a passive aggressive maneuver I have perfected over the past 14 years of driving. To perform the Shakedown you must first honk to get the attention of the asshole in the other car. Second, you begin to slowly shake your head “no” for the remainder of the time they are looking. It’s pretty simple and totally passive aggressive but fun. There are also some fun extras that can make this maneuver go over the top. 1- Lean your head out the window and shake your head. 2- Throw your hands up in the air while continuing to nod your head of course. 3- position your sunglasses below your eyes so you can give a sassy look to accompany the head shaking. 4- First of all this is my favorite one, look above the rim of your prescription glasses and give a really angry look all while shaking your head. For this to really work combine two or all of these and you have perfected the Shakedown.
Oh Well, Merry Christmas y’all!
Today’s Workout:
Treadmill- 200 calories and 1.5miles
Weekly Weigh-in: 224 SAY WHAT ? Yep down 32 pounds!!!!!!!
Lonely Among Us
The Enterprise is playing host to two races of aliens who are at war but on their way to a peace talk hosted by the Federation. The only interesting thing is that one group looks like humanoid Dogs and the other look like humanoid Snakes. These alien ambassadors are a true “B story” and don’t really advance the plot greatly. On its way to the Federation peace talks, The Enterprise encounters a strange energy formation in space and makes a stop to examine it more closely. A strange energy form comes aboard the Enterprise and proceeds to interrupt ships functions as it jumps from computer system to computer system. Along the process the energy form inhabits Worf, Crusher, a random engineer and in the end Captain Picard. Picard and the alien as a formed pair now return to the nebula and beam into outer space to be part of the nebula together. In the end Troi feels Picard’s presence and he is returned to the Enterprise through cunning use of the transporter device.

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